I hate to give credit to a supermodel of any kind, but I was watching our favorite person to hate the other day, Miss Tyra Banks, and found myself actually interested in the show's topic. It was about men who were married or in relationships and outside female friendships, whether they were dangerous, disrespectful, harmless or even beneficial. In true talk show format, everyone had a different opinion.
Some women thought it was okay as long as the man hung out with his female friend in a larger group or when his wife/girlfriend was also there. Some thought it was okay only if it was a superficial friendship and that there was no "emotional cheating." This means basically they could drink beer together and talk about sports but under no circumstances anything truly relevant in their lives. Then others thought it was no big deal at all. Of course, the only ones who thought that were the men. But still, dissent is dissent and should be noted. Lastly, there was the "When Harry Met Sally" school of thought that says men and women can never truly be just friends. That there will always either be some type of feeling from one or both parties or that the bond between friends of the opposite sex undermines the relationships with their partners since their partner should be their best friend and "enough".
This is where Tyra firmly stood. I'm not sure I totally agree with her. We all get different things out of different friendships. Plus, I think a lot of it has to do with her own past. Girl dated a basketball player, and we all know that's bad news. Also, there's the small, no... large, matter of ego. As a wise person told me, "the girl who recognizes she is jealous is your true self. The girl who is jealous is your ego." So perhaps Tyra's ego is the reason behind her stance. Maybe she's the jealous type because of some insecurity, blah blah blah.
But then maybe, just maybe the former supermodel turned talk show diva has a point just as Billy Crystal did when he said the same thing in that famous cross country road trip with Meg Ryan. It's hard to tell, but the man also said in the same film, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." And ain't that the truth. Besides, once Harry realized he loved Sally I guarantee he stopped making friends with cute blonds. Finally, for once in his life, he had "enough." But that's the movies. And life, like Tyra Banks the person, is far more complicated...
... F' it, I can't resist, one more quote from Billy to showcase his infinite wisdom. The following is from "City Slickers".
Mitch: "Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you’re a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, What happened to my twenties? Your forties, you grow a little pot belly, you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You’ll call it a procedure, but it’s a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn’t matter because you can’t hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering, "How come the kids don’t call? How come the kids don’t call?" By your eighties, you’ve had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can’t stand but who you call mama. Any questions?"