Saturday, April 3, 2010

Rule of Threes... Geez

While the Rule of Threes may seem like superstitious dribble, I can assure you from my experiences today that it holds true. My particular trinity evolves a series of embarrassing moments - nothing worth changing my name over and going into witness protection, but cringe worthy just the same.

First off, in Spin Class this morning, the teacher couldn't think of the 70s TV show that included the songs "Electricity" and "3 Is a Magic Number" (there's irony in that last one, no?). No one in the class could say, but then suddenly I remembered... 'Jailhouse Rock!' I cried out. The teacher agreed. Yes, yes that was it. It was only when I was walking to my car thinking to myself 'why in the world would a children's educational cartoon have the word 'Jail' in it?', that I realized it's actually Schoolhouse Rock. Okay, so no one was around for my embarrassing realization, but I could just picture the teacher googling the songs once she got home and shaking her head at me as her and her equally fit husband giggled.

Later in the day, as I shopped for a dress for the Capitalist Ball, I realized walking to my car that I had put my shirt back on inside out. Now it made sense why the ladies behind the counter were looking at me weird. I thought it was my sweatstache from the 80 degree weather we're having. Maybe it was both.

For my third embarrassment, at the next store I went to, this time at a different mall so as to start afresh, shirt on properly, I was standing in line, arms full, when I decided it would be a good idea to try a ring on that was near the counter. One by one things began to fall from my arms. As soon as I'd pick up one, another would fall. And on and on and on. You couldn't write slapstick like this - my comic timing was genius. Finally, for the coup de gras, my sunglasses fell off my head and broke into pieces. At least I provided entertainment for the skinny preteens in line (I'm I now too old for Forever 21?!) who snickered every time my well-endowed ass bent over.

So that's it... proof that the Rule of Threes is alive and wreaking havoc on the world. And we thought it was only reserved for dead celebrities...