Frugal Thought #2: Sell It, Don't Smell It

You got an Ipod? An external hard drive? Then what the hell are you waiting for? Sell those outdated CDs and go digital. I recently downloaded every single CD I own (except my Christopher Guest autographed copy of the Spinal Tap soundtrack - over my dead body) and then backed it up with my new and fabulous La Cie hard drive (http://www.lacie.com/us/products/product.htm?pid=10949)
That's the link to their site, but I recommend buying it cheaper on Amazon (thanks for the tip, roomie!). Now my Ipod is synced and ready to go, and I don't have to shuffle 300 CDs around every time I move. So step 2 of The Year of Frugal Thinking is to begin to streamline your life. Get rid of the clutter and make a few bucks while you're at it. Amoeba Records (http://www.amoeba.com/content/sell-used-cds-dvds-lps.html) is a pretty cool place to sell if you don't mind having an uber hipster intensely looking over your collection as though he's judging your worthiness as a human being. So I have a Britney album alongside Zappa, so what! I can get In The Zone as much a I can dig an Amarillo Brillo, and frankly, I think that makes me a well-rounded individual so take that smug look off your face before I choke you with your own Emo checkered scarf. Anyway, I made about $80 there (opt for the cash over trade-in, remember we're trying to make money here, people) but took in nearly $200 at Second Spin (http://www.secondspin.com/?gclid=CNK37Kbxw5gCFRYiagodUFvw2g) where they couldn't care less if some of the CDs were a bit scratched or that I had a penchant for Salt n' Pepa, meditation music and Willie Nelson. And, not to mention, there wasn't a checkered scarf in sight. The girl was more like a character out of the movie "Airheads" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109068/). If you're not familiar with this exceptional film, netflix it (along with "Empire Records" while you're at it.) It's amazing and a hell of a lot cheaper than a trip to the movie theater. Plus, when you're broke, you can always use a good laugh.

The Year of Frugal Thinking

As a Blackheart, and black being a color consisting of all other colors, you would think green would be running through my veins. Not the case these days. Hard economic times have befallen your gypsy friend, so new rules of living (and thinking!) have to be set into place. For the next year I'm going to be delving into the world of the poor and imaginative, trying to find ways to stay afloat. If you'd like to come along for the ride and maybe learn a thing or two about the life of a starving artist, please continue to follow my blog. That's not to say that every entry will be financially focused. I'm no Suzy Orman; too much money talk makes me dizzy. I would like to start, however, with one venture I've recently turned to... the monotonous glee of paid audience work. Twice in past two weeks I've dragged my butt into Hollywood to wait in line outside a studio to be ushered into the audience seat at a talk show. There are plenty of shows in Los Angeles that have less audience members vying for tickets to taping than I have money in savings. If you log into Craigslist Los Angeles and check under TV & Film Jobs http://losangeles.craigslist.org/tfr/
you can usually find a posting for paid audience work. If you call the number to sign up, and it leads you to a voicemail recording, hang up and keep calling like when you tried to win NKOTB concert tickets over the radio in fifth grade. At least that's the comparison that works for me. The pay is minimal, but it's cash and given out directly after the show. And who knows, you might stumble upon a great show and end up enjoying yourself. Personally, I've really become an expert fake laugher, not to mention I am developing clap callouses on both palms which are essential for those back-to-back double show tapings. Oh, and if you are a writer like myself, you'll meet the most vibrant cast of characters seated to either side of you. You never know when inspiration may hit or when a friendly peacenik hippie mom trying to earn a few extra bucks after her costly tattoo removal might offer you some baby carrots and an assortment of organic roasted nuts (Thanks, again, Jane!).

So for more tips and anecdotes in this Year of Frugal Thinking stay tuned. And for god's sake don't try to sell your used underwear on Craigslist. It's just not worth it.

Master Oogway

"The past is history. The future is a mystery. And today is a gift. That's why it's called, 'the present'."

Sage advice from a turtle. They must have a lot of time to think as they hide under their shells. This quote is from the film "Kung Fu Panda," and it struck me as one hell of a meaningful sucker punch to my intellect... and not just because it rhymes. Lately I'm been thinking a lot about the past and future. The article I published recently deals with a time forgotten, and while I had written it some years back, seeing it online and having others read it, really threw me back into that head space for a spell. And then, ah, the future - something that's been plaguing me since the ball dropped on 2008. All the questioning, all the worrying, all the anxiety of what's to come has had me in a in a perpetual state of nausea. As my time in Los Angeles, writing and struggling and dating and hobnobbing, comes to a pinnacle four year anniversary (there goes that damn past, again, rearing it's ugly head), I've been left with a growing pain in my gut telling me I haven't done nearly enough. I mean, I haven't even eaten at The Ivy yet, for god's sake, not to mention sold a feature. So this wise old turtle couldn't have come into my life at a better time. For now, I just have to focus on the present - the gift that keeps on giving, day after day after day - and leave all that stress for some executive trying to get distribution for his feature over lunch at The Ivy.

Published, Baby!

I have a short story that I wrote several years ago being published today on the online literary magazine Flask and Pen. Check it out!

http://flaskandpen.com/bath-water/

Rage Against the Metabolism

I just want to say that it isn't funny. I'm not laughing. Why is it that as I near 30 my metabolism has decided to slow down like a party girl on GHB? I used to dance in the crowd, but now I'm slumped over a chair in the dark corner of the VIP room, or worse, on the floor of the bathroom stall. I eat the same. I workout the same. But for some ungodly reason I'm expanding in all directions. I am the Big Bang Theory. So what do I do? Fight? But how? Diet pills, more lemonade and cayenne, Spin classes two times a day, give up everything that means anything to me - dark chocolate, goat cheese, Santa Fe garden burgers from Astroburger? Even my splurges are healthy, so what gives? Am I doomed to never wear my skinny jeans again? Does it only get worse from here or can I pull a Dylan Thomas and "rage, rage against the dying of the light"? I suppose I could get rich and hire a personal nutritionist and trainer. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Or I could get really poor and not have enough food to eat. Nah, no fun. I'd probably end up eating one of the cats, which would be truly terrible. Ok, so until I get rich, rage it is. Rage Against the Metabolism... Does anyone know of a good fasting tea?

West With the Night

"Why am I gazing at this campfire like a lost soul seeking a hope when all that I love is at my wingtips? Because I am curious. Because I am incorrigibly now, a wanderer."
-West With the Night, by Beryl Markham

Beryl, a race horse trainer turned airplane pilot in the 1920s & 30s, was raised and spent most of her life in the country she loved, Africa. Reading her memoir now I can't help but relate to every word on the page, but this quote especially stood out to me as a wonderful expression of what it means to be an eternal wanderer. It's not as if the place you stand has no value. In fact, once gone from it, nostalgia often takes over, creating lasting memories that lean toward exaggeration. What was once a pretty fun time, becomes a pinnacle of enjoyment. What was once a relaxing vacation, becomes the utmost time of Zen in your life. So, yes, there is a great deal of value in the current position, place and time. But what underlines it all is an undying urge to try something new. To explore new territory and devour new experiences. And no one did that better than Beryl. As a small girl she wanted to hunt like the Murani tribesmen, so she shadowed them every chance she could get, despite near death escapes from lions and other jungle predators. She wanted to train horses like her father, so she did, on her own at the age of seventeen in the middle of a largely unexplored, wild land. She wanted to fly planes, so she learned to fly a Gypsy Moth, over elephant herds and into villages that no cars could go. She amazes me, but what gives me pause is the question, "Would I amaze her?" Probably not. So this is what I'm going to work on. This is my New Years Resolution. To amaze Beryl Markham posthumously. It's as good a goal as any other, and definitely more rewarding than being five pounds slimmer or giving up my morning cup of coffee. If I'm going to be a wanderer, I better get my moccasins on and start moving.

Fun with Flan

Just a quick observation about my new neighborhood. The one difference I've noticed living in a predominantly Mexican-American neighborhood is that no matter what grocery store you find yourself in, there is an abundance of flan for sell. All shapes, sizes and flavors. Coffee-flavored flan at Fresh & Easy - who ever heard of such a hybrid? I never realized to what extent flan was a truly popular dessert. I thought it was just one of those cultural things that people talk about but never really eat, like fruit cake for caucasians. My last memory of flan was a flan food fight we had at my high school in the cafeteria. That stuff can really fly, and it's quite buoyant, even against wool-blended plaid skirts. Plus, it stays in its original form during air transit no matter the velocity of your throw, which is nice if you are aiming at a particular person, such as that b***h who had the nerve to invite your boyfriend to Homecoming or that dork who dressed as Xena the Warrior Princess on career day. So I guess what I'm saying is, when in Rome do as the Romans and get yourself some dragonberry flan and call it a day.