Top 10 China Highlights

1.) Climbing the Great Wall of China. Absolutely amazing. We took the harder, more scenic route, and I worked up a sweat despite the 40 degree weather. There was a huge group of people from India all wearing matching Burberry jackets, and one couple demanded we visit their country next, so who am I to disagree? Anyone down to climb the Himalayas with me?
2.) Boat ride down the Suzhou canals. My favorite vignette from the 300 year old stone houses along the embankments was: a house with a fat orange cat watching us float by, next to a house with a bird cage with 3 multi-colored birds hanging from an open window, next to a house with chickens in the backyard pecking at the ground. Every Suzhou resident would smile and wave at us as we passed. A "Ni hao," a nod and a wave, and we were on to the next idyllic scene.
3.) Summer Palace. Loved walking along the lake down the Empress' endless, painted wooden promenade which she had built so she could wander her grounds without ever being in the sun or rain. A major diva of Mariah Carey proportions. But she deserved it seeing as she only got to get it on with the Emperor 2 times a year in between his hundreds of concubines.
4.) Walk through the Ming Tombs down the Sacred Way. Through the long, broad expanse of willow trees, we waved to the many stone statues of Chinese officials and mythological animals guarding the dead rulers while enjoying the faint sound of music and the leaves rustling in the wind. Fyi, they filmed "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" there.
5.) Last night out in Shanghai which included attending the Chinese MTV Music Awards where we had no idea what they were saying but loved the hip-hop dancers and cheesy love ballads that caused the teeny boppers in the audience to cry out God only knows what. Then it was off to Babyface, a locals hangout where we met a group of Australians who shared their Chivas and green tea with us. Danced all night and got a ride home in style in one of our new friend's private town car.
6.) Eating sauteed tofu and quail's eggs in Chinatown (Shanghai) with toothpicks. We bought it from a vendor out of a giant hot pot in the window after roaming the gardens there. Then we gorged ourselves on mochi. My mom bought a sampler pack. My fave? The red bean and the black sesame. Too bad mom ate the entire pack in 2 days or I would have brought some back to share.
7.) Terracotta Soldiers. It's all about pit #1, baby, with thousands of soldiers and their horses lined in row upon row, guarding Emperor Qing's tomb. There are still twice as many waiting to be unearthed but because the oxygen destroys the clay the government is leaving them buried for future generations to enjoy.
8.) 8 motorcycles driving in circles, upside down and sideways, inside a giant steel cage at the acrobatic show. If they bring this shit to the States it's bound to make some major Yuan. I nearly pissed my pants.
9.) The Birds' Nest and the Water Cube, a.ka. the site of the Beijing Olympics August 8th, 2008.
10.) Tiananmen Square. Owen, our ultra-hot 28 year old tour guide who rocked Prada glasses and used to play in a dance metal band, told us that once outside of the tour bus he couldn't discuss the events of 1989 since China was full of government spies who would arrest you for talking against Mao and the government, despite the fact that the guy has been dead since 1976. We were also warned not to take pictures of anyone wearing t-shirts with political slogans or holding banners because the spies and/or guards would confiscate our cameras. On one side of the square was the past, Mao's larger than life picture, still looming over this communist country and its people, and on the other side was the future, a giant clock counting down the minutes and seconds leading to the 2008 Olympics and their capitalist fate.
**Last final small world note: We saw Paris Hilton at club Attica the night before the MTV Awards in Shanghai. As she posed for the club goers and their camera phones, mere feet away from us, I wondered for a second if we hadn't magically beamed back to some lame Hollywood club where the little people take second string to celebrities. But then as I watched her peer at the crowd from behind red ropes, not a sole with her except for some men in suits and whoever was on the other end of her blackberry (a.k.a. security blanket,) I couldn't help but feel sorry for the little princess, all alone in Shanghai, when I had 3 of the best girls in the world with me to enjoy the music, free drinks and fun.